Contrary to a series on Showtime a few years ago, the Big C is not cancer.
And yet I must admit, much like that warning on our side mirrors, ‘Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear’ oftentimes we, as cancer warriors do indeed magnify our concerns and cares … OK, worries and fears … about cancer until it limits our ability to see anything or anyOne else.
April was an incredible roller-coaster ride for me and my family. After dealing with undiagnosed pain for nearly five months, we discovered that I had cancer growing into my spine (T4 through T10) that needless to say had been wreaking a great deal of havoc throughout my body. The plan was three weeks of targeted radiation therapy followed by the resumption of chemotherapy.
After six treatments, I got sick. Further tests revealed that the colon cancer had metastasized into my liver causing some abnormal liver counts. Apparently there are good treatment plans for treating liver cancer itself but not for treating cancer that has metastasized into the liver from elsewhere so chemo was no longer really a viable option. Also the cancer growth is wrapped around my left ureter as well as spots on my lung. Meanwhile I lost 20 pounds in two weeks … that is 80 pounds since this cancer battle began in 2007.
So the oncologist recommended in home hospice care which has begun this week … right now a very light hospice care with a visit once a week by my case manager nurse. But this means I am now on palliative care instead of curative care … at least from a medical perspective. As a Christian, my entire life is in the curative care of the Lord God Almighty.
Finally I also had to apply for a leave of absence and short term disability … only time will tell if they are approved. Yet I must praise God that in the last 8 years of battling cancer and the various surgeries and complications I have been able to work and provide for my family through the combined benefits of being able to work from home as needed and paid time off to cover those times when I could not. Thank you Lord!
In a sermon I heard in the last few weeks, the following passage came up …
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28 (NIV)
I might rephrase that a bit to help me in this personal battle …
Do not be afraid of cancer which can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, fear and love Christ Jesus, the One who saves both soul and body from hell.
Nope, the Big C ain’t cancer … the Big C is Christ Jesus, my Lord and Savior, who has saved, is saving and will save my soul and body from hell.
May I never forget that incredible truth!