The Big C

Contrary to a series on Showtime a few years ago, the Big C is not cancer.

And yet I must admit, much like that warning on our side mirrors, ‘Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear’ oftentimes we, as cancer warriors do indeed magnify our concerns and cares … OK, worries and fears … about cancer until it limits our ability to see anything or anyOne else.

April was an incredible roller-coaster ride for me and my family. After dealing with undiagnosed pain for nearly five months, we discovered that I had cancer growing into my spine (T4 through T10) that needless to say had been wreaking a great deal of havoc throughout my body. The plan was three weeks of targeted radiation therapy followed by the resumption of chemotherapy.

After six treatments, I got sick. Further tests revealed that the colon cancer had metastasized into my liver causing some abnormal liver counts. Apparently there are good treatment plans for treating liver cancer itself but not for treating cancer that has metastasized into the liver from elsewhere so chemo was no longer really a viable option. Also the cancer growth is wrapped around my left ureter as well as spots on my lung. Meanwhile I lost 20 pounds in two weeks … that is 80 pounds since this cancer battle began in 2007.

So the oncologist recommended in home hospice care which has begun this week … right now a very light hospice care with a visit once a week by my case manager nurse. But this means I am now on palliative care instead of curative care … at least from a medical perspective. As a Christian, my entire life is in the curative care of the Lord God Almighty.

Finally I also had to apply for a leave of absence and short term disability … only time will tell if they are approved. Yet I must praise God that in the last 8 years of battling cancer and the various surgeries and complications I have been able to work and provide for my family through the combined benefits of being able to work from home as needed and paid time off to cover those times when I could not. Thank you Lord!

In a sermon I heard in the last few weeks, the following passage came up …

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28 (NIV)

I might rephrase that a bit to help me in this personal battle …

Do not be afraid of cancer which can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, fear and love Christ Jesus, the One who saves both soul and body from hell.

Nope, the Big C ain’t cancer … the Big C is Christ Jesus, my Lord and Savior, who has saved, is saving and will save my soul and body from hell.

May I never forget that incredible truth!


About bwebbjr

A grandfather, father, husband, man, and a child of God who is following Christ Jesus and working out his salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work IN me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). I dodged my first bullet with cancer when a cancerous polyp was removed in a sigmoid colectomy surgery in August 2007. Four years later, in the midst of a second colectomy surgery we discovered I had Stage IV metastatic colon cancer. Rather than colectomy surgery I had colostomy surgery, which now means the colostomy bag is a part of my everyday life ... with the emphasis on life. God has given us a peace beyond understanding as my wife and I have traveled this journey. By the grace of God I am blessed to be a 6 plus year cancer survivor aka warrior. In writing, I am often wrestling with my own personal struggles and beliefs and in the midst God leads me to a lesson He wants me to learn ... or sometimes He simply touches me in the revelation of Himself. My hope is that the result you see here might touch your heart and glorify God. And let me be clear ... I am not the only one with something to say. Please join in the conversation sharing your faith, your cancer experiences, etc. I would love to hear from you. Bernie
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10 Responses to The Big C

  1. jimdavenport says:

    There is JOY in knowing that “The Big C” is ALLWAYS by our side and continuously INdwelling our very soul! While our body is weak and will pass away, God has promised a NEW and PERFECT body to incorporate our soul for all of eternity. HALLELUJAH! So happy to see you are able to write. Love you my brother! Jim

  2. Thank you Bernie. The big C is Christ! What an important reminder. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • bwebbjr says:

      You are welcome Richard … thank you for your love, concern and prayers as a loving brother in Christ through the years … you are greatly appreciated!


  3. dwdw1dw says:

    with you in thought and prayer Bernie!

  4. Nona Ingham says:

    Your Ricoh Family is keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. This Relay For Life girl is walking in your honor tomorrow night and we will all be thinking about you. We’ll leave a light on for you. Cancer cannot take your faith or your love. I pray for comfort to your pain, and may your days be filled with the love that surrounds you from afar.

  5. Julie Garro says:

    Thank you for how you express your deep faith and God’s love, no matter what the circumstances. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Julie

    • bwebbjr says:

      Thank you so much for keeping my family and me in your prayers Julie … God answers those prayers in ways both big and small every day … you are a blessing!

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