12 weeks without chemo

For me, Wednesday, August 28th marks 12 weeks without chemo treatments.  You don’t realize how chemo is wearing you down until you have a long break like this.  Right now I am feeling better than I did even 6-12 months before my surgery … 3 years ago.  Lately I have noticed a spring in my step … something that was such a distant memory I almost didn’t recognize it.

Yesterday I had a CT scan to determine what kind of impact the long break has had on my cancer …

  • Has the cancer grown or spread?
  • Has the cancer remained static?
  • Has the cancer shrunk?
  • Has the cancer miraculously disappeared?

Wednesday I return to my oncologist to discuss the results of my CT scan.  Obviously several different treatment plans could be recommended based on the results of the scan.

If the cancer has grown or spread, then I would imagine the oncologist would want to resume chemo, possibly as quickly as Wednesday …

If the cancer has remained static, there is a 50/50 chance he will want to resume chemo …

If the cancer has shrunk or miraculously disappeared, then I would imagine we would continue to take a break from chemo …

But the most important question is …

“Will I trust God’s plan and direction regardless of the scan results?”

In the words of the apostles, “Lord, increase my faith!”  (Luke 17:5)

Regardless of the outcome, may the author and perfector of faith increase my faith and may God be either glorified now by the outcome or may God be glorified later by the outcome and the path on which He directs me …

Regardless of the outcome, may I continue to find my hope IN Christ … not in the treatment of my oncologist …

To say such things ahead of time is an easy thing … the challenge is to live it out in the midst of trials and tribulations … and I will admit it is indeed a challenge for me … one that can only be endured by the abiding presence of Christ Jesus within me …

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.  May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.  Colossians 1:9-14 (ESV)

Your will be done Lord … your will be done …


About bwebbjr

A grandfather, father, husband, man, and a child of God who is following Christ Jesus and working out his salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work IN me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). I dodged my first bullet with cancer when a cancerous polyp was removed in a sigmoid colectomy surgery in August 2007. Four years later, in the midst of a second colectomy surgery we discovered I had Stage IV metastatic colon cancer. Rather than colectomy surgery I had colostomy surgery, which now means the colostomy bag is a part of my everyday life ... with the emphasis on life. God has given us a peace beyond understanding as my wife and I have traveled this journey. By the grace of God I am blessed to be a 6 plus year cancer survivor aka warrior. In writing, I am often wrestling with my own personal struggles and beliefs and in the midst God leads me to a lesson He wants me to learn ... or sometimes He simply touches me in the revelation of Himself. My hope is that the result you see here might touch your heart and glorify God. And let me be clear ... I am not the only one with something to say. Please join in the conversation sharing your faith, your cancer experiences, etc. I would love to hear from you. Bernie
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2 Responses to 12 weeks without chemo

  1. judikruis says:

    Thank you Lord for this time of rest for Bernie. We pray for great renewal for his body and rejoice in the faith and hope you have brought through this journey. We give thanks for all You are doing in and through him.

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