Hoping and trusting Jesus will carry me thru chemo treatment #6

Tomorrow I am scheduled for chemo treatment #6 … this marks 12 weeks of receiving bi-weekly chemotherapy treatments.  Typically I am dealing with the side effects of the chemo for 7 to 9 days, sometimes 10 … then I have 4 or 5 days where I am regaining my strength and the side effects have ceased.  Those 4 or 5 days give me some time to regain some physical strength … also some time to go through the much needed attitude adjustment in preparation for the next round of chemo.

That just hasn’t happened this time.  Even as late as both Saturday and Monday, I hit a couple of hours of extreme fatigue (the #1 side effect of chemo) each day and it seems like that nagging sense of nausea has plagued me off and on throughout the last two weeks.  My walks have been few and far between as my energy levels have frequently been just too low to hit the track.

This current situation is opening my eyes to a reality about my faith … when I think I am walking in faith … my walk of faith is oftentimes one part personal strength … one part personal attitude … and one part faith in God … basically I’m depending on Him for what I can’t do … ummmmmm … considering.

Well, it looks like this time my walk of faith is only going to have one part … depending on Jesus for everything … probably a much more biblical realization of a walk of faith.

And considering that drew me to the popular poem ‘Footprints in the Sand’ (there is a great deal of dispute over who the original author was) … a perfect reflection of what am expecting to experience in the coming days, weeks, months, etc.

Footprints in The Sand

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other belonging to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,
He recalled at the lowest and saddest times of his life
there was only one set of footprints.

Dismayed, he asked, “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
I don’t understand why, when I needed you most,
you would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.

During your time of trial and suffering,
when you only saw one set of footprints …

THAT WAS WHEN I CARRIED YOU.

I need you to carry me Lord … I need you to carry me.

Bernie

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About bwebbjr

A grandfather, father, husband, man, and a child of God who is following Christ Jesus and working out his salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work IN me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). I dodged my first bullet with cancer when a cancerous polyp was removed in a sigmoid colectomy surgery in August 2007. Four years later, in the midst of a second colectomy surgery we discovered I had Stage IV metastatic colon cancer. Rather than colectomy surgery I had colostomy surgery, which now means the colostomy bag is a part of my everyday life ... with the emphasis on life. God has given us a peace beyond understanding as my wife and I have traveled this journey. By the grace of God I am blessed to be a 6 plus year cancer survivor aka warrior. In writing, I am often wrestling with my own personal struggles and beliefs and in the midst God leads me to a lesson He wants me to learn ... or sometimes He simply touches me in the revelation of Himself. My hope is that the result you see here might touch your heart and glorify God. And let me be clear ... I am not the only one with something to say. Please join in the conversation sharing your faith, your cancer experiences, etc. I would love to hear from you. Bernie
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3 Responses to Hoping and trusting Jesus will carry me thru chemo treatment #6

  1. Earnestly praying for you my friend during this round of chemo … trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding … very hard to do, but it always works for the Christian.

    Jim D.

    • bwebbjr says:

      Thanks for the prayers Jim … your advice is so true … I hope you are experiencing the Lord’s presence, peace and healing in the midst of your medical trials as well!

      Bernie

  2. Pingback: the illusion of ‘my strength and my control’ | Believing IN Christ Jesus through ALL things

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