God … not cancer nor doctors … has numbered all my days

Yesterday I turned 58 years old.  A few weeks ago I entered into a routine colectomy surgery that resulted in a colostomy instead and the verdict that I have cancer … a cancer that is quite advanced.

In the journey and battle before me it is important for me to understand my place IN God’s kingdom and my place IN Christ and where my hope is found.

‘But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is IN You.’  Psalm 39:7

In the midst of such a medical finding doctors suddenly become prophetic and predictive … no doubt statistics and case histories do indeed provide some basis for proclaiming remaining life expectancy … quite accurately in many cases … but neither the cancer nor the doctor has suddenly and unexpectantly numbered my days.

Note these words from Psalm 139:16 …

‘Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.’

What I’m faced with now may be a surprise to me … but it is neither a shock nor a surprise to the Lord God Almighty.  Every day of my life was numbered and written in His book before my first breath was ever taken.  And the truth of the matter is neither I nor the doctors nor the cancer knows what that number is …

And in that fact, I do indeed find comfort, peace and hope.

‘The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts IN Him.’ Psalm 32:10



About bwebbjr

A grandfather, father, husband, man, and a child of God who is following Christ Jesus and working out his salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work IN me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). I dodged my first bullet with cancer when a cancerous polyp was removed in a sigmoid colectomy surgery in August 2007. Four years later, in the midst of a second colectomy surgery we discovered I had Stage IV metastatic colon cancer. Rather than colectomy surgery I had colostomy surgery, which now means the colostomy bag is a part of my everyday life ... with the emphasis on life. God has given us a peace beyond understanding as my wife and I have traveled this journey. By the grace of God I am blessed to be a 6 plus year cancer survivor aka warrior. In writing, I am often wrestling with my own personal struggles and beliefs and in the midst God leads me to a lesson He wants me to learn ... or sometimes He simply touches me in the revelation of Himself. My hope is that the result you see here might touch your heart and glorify God. And let me be clear ... I am not the only one with something to say. Please join in the conversation sharing your faith, your cancer experiences, etc. I would love to hear from you. Bernie
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4 Responses to God … not cancer nor doctors … has numbered all my days

  1. Bernie,

    Just wanted to let you know that your post was spot on!

    I feel like you been looking over my shoulder and reading my journals, as I wrote many of the same things that you have been sharing here and I appreciate your being dirt honest, because that is something that someone who might stop by, who are traveling this path.

    They well see and know that there are others who have or are going through this.

    I know that nothing that I went through in 2003, when my journey began, has been wasted. The two surgeries, the divorce (not by choice), etc was not wasted and the Lord has used all of it to touch the lives of others, through the things that He has had me write. He spoke to me to be honest, open and real and to encourage others on this path called life.

    I shared a link to your blog on my Facebook page, because I know it can touch others!

    Blessing and prayers my friend.

    Don’t know if you have Skye or not, if so, maybe we can catch up sometime on Skype!

    Blessings and prayers,

    aka The Mayor 🙂

    • bwebbjr says:

      Hi Paul-

      Thanks for the great comment (and before I forget again … no, I don’t have skype.)

      I wrote quite a bit on Xanga right after my surgery in 2007 and at the time connected with a couple of people who were going thru the same battle and I like to think what I wrote both in the posts and the e-mails we exchanged helped in their own personal battles.

      I desire to write as ‘dirt honest’ as i can … I really don’t want to super-saint myself in the midst of all this … I have my doubts … I have my struggles … and yet I know that Christ is the only One who can carry me through … whatever the outcome. And that is called faith.

      From what you have shared it sounds to me like you have really had a difficult journey and yet as you write He has used that difficult journey to grow the kingdom and to glorify Himself – praise God brother!

      Thanks for sharing the link on your facebook page … I do appreciate it.

      And maybe once I get a bit stronger, am driving a bit more we can share a cup of coffee at your favorite Smyrna coffeehouse …

      Until then, abide IN Christ Jesus, His love and His words brother!


  2. What an encouraging post! I found you through a Facebook link and have bookmarked your blog to keep up with. Your writing is so real and honest; that’s what appealed to me. My prayers will be with you in this new adventure in your walk with God.

    • bwebbjr says:

      Hi Jimmy – I am so thankful that you found this to be an encouraging post. Thanks for the encouraging words, thanks for bookmarking the blog and most importantly Jimmy thank you for the prayers.

      Abide IN Christ Jesus, His love and His words!


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