‘You must earn my trust’

Quite possibly you have either been told ‘You must earn my trust’ or perhaps you have spoken those words yourself to a child … or even an adult.

Oftentimes this is not a statement made as a relationship begins.  Oddly enough we typically, yet cautiously, enter into new relationships with trust somewhat assumed, untested and unchallenged.

Typically such a challenge is issued much later in the midst of an ongoing relationship when there has been an incident or series of incidents that have broken the trust in that relationship between two people.

Would you agree?

For the sake of this post, let me offer my definition of broken trust.  I am talking about a relationship between two people where the person in authority discovers that someone under his or her authority has basically not acted according to his or her expectations.  This could be a parent-child relationship, a boss-employee relationship, a coach-player relationship, etc.

(Yes, I realize completely that broken trust can occur between friends, co-workers, spouses, siblings, etc. and that prior to the broken trust one may not have had authority over the other.  Interestingly enough when this occurs, the one betrayed seemingly assumes some expected ‘authority’ over the other until trust has been restored … )

So what exactly do we mean when we say, ‘You must earn my trust’?

I’m open to any definitions you might have to offer.

My explanation regarding ‘restored trust’ would go something like this:  You (re)earn the authority’s trust when you consistently, reliably and lovingly (not begrudgingly) act and speak from the heart according to the expectations of that authority because you trust his or her wisdom, knowledge, judgment and experience more than you trust your own.

And suddenly …

What happened in the Garden of Eden that broke the trust relationship between God and man … and the fact that faith IN Christ Jesus restores that relationship reconciling us to God seems, on a considerably different plane, very similar to how the restoration of trust and also reconciliation occurs in my interpersonal relationships.

Interesting …



About bwebbjr

A grandfather, father, husband, man, and a child of God who is following Christ Jesus and working out his salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work IN me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). I dodged my first bullet with cancer when a cancerous polyp was removed in a sigmoid colectomy surgery in August 2007. Four years later, in the midst of a second colectomy surgery we discovered I had Stage IV metastatic colon cancer. Rather than colectomy surgery I had colostomy surgery, which now means the colostomy bag is a part of my everyday life ... with the emphasis on life. God has given us a peace beyond understanding as my wife and I have traveled this journey. By the grace of God I am blessed to be a 6 plus year cancer survivor aka warrior. In writing, I am often wrestling with my own personal struggles and beliefs and in the midst God leads me to a lesson He wants me to learn ... or sometimes He simply touches me in the revelation of Himself. My hope is that the result you see here might touch your heart and glorify God. And let me be clear ... I am not the only one with something to say. Please join in the conversation sharing your faith, your cancer experiences, etc. I would love to hear from you. Bernie
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